As we approach the quarter pole of the NFL season, let’s take a moment to reflect on our Browns thus far. Let’s also take a moment to hope that the quarter pole is made out of brass, and has a hot girl swinging around on it. (I’ve apparently spent too much time in Vegas lately)  OK, as we can see from my Preseason Predictions/Reader Mailbag column a few weeks ago, I’m a complete genius.  I mean, except for a bunch of them, every single prediction I made has come true. (I also made it through nearly three weeks before getting knocked out of my Survivor Pool, so top that, Skip Bayless)  With a lifetime sports prediction winning percentage of nearly 42%, you can see why I get the big bucks to write for a first class publication like (Note to self: Insert name of whatever unknown, low-traffic website you submit this to before sending it to the editor).  What I CAN say is this; while the win-loss numbers are off, I stand by my evaluations in general.  I also stand by my pantry, hoping another box of Frankenberries will somehow magically appear.  I have lots and lots of free time.

Defense:  Realistically, they’ve been pretty good.  Additionally, we can’t fully evaluate the progress on this side of the ball until Joe Haden and Phil Taylor return.  The D nearly won the Philadelphia game with zero help from the offense.  Yes, without Haden, severe depth issues in the defensive backfield have been exposed, and this must be a point of emphasis for the front office in the offseason, but what team out there could survive the loss of a Top-5 corner and their best defensive lineman without suffering a dropoff in productivity?  Tell me another team without Air Bud on the roster that could pull that off? The pleasant surprise so far has been the arrival of the young LB corps.  In addition to their leader DQ, Fort and Robertson have played well, and I can’t wait to see what James Michael Johnson can do once he gets back from his oblique injury.  Oblique.  I don’t even know what an “oblique” is.  I just know it’s not a good excuse for married guys like me to explain a late return from Las Vegas, a evidenced by the following real dialogue between my wife and I after my latest Sin City trip was mysteriously extended two extra days:

Wife: Why are you two days late?

Me: Sorry honey, I had an oblique injury.  Wife: Really?  Then why is there glitter on your face?

Me: I’ll sleep on the couch.

Anyway,  I’m excited to see JMJ back on the field alongside his young LB brethren.  These young guys are learning to play 100MPH by watching DQ - and I hope that once Haden gets back, he provides the same type of leadership-by-example for the young guys in the defensive backfield.  There are two more games without Haden, then one more until Phil Taylor returns; only at that point will we be able to fully evaluate the defense.  We do know this: as a defense, they’re pretty damn good, and they’re probably going to win 1-2 games all on their own the second half of the season.

Offense: Well, it certainly didn’t look good against Philly, did it?   It has improved since then, but only in fits and starts.  Preseason, I said the entire offense rested on the fate of TRich and his knee.  I see now that I got it a bit backwards: the fate of the offense rests on the ability of someone, anyone, anywhere, being able to catch a damn pass.  Against Cincy the passing offense looked decent, which opened up the running lanes, and Richardson showed who he is: a stud.  However, in the other two games there has been exactly zero threat of a passing game, allowing opposing defenses to stack as many as they want into the box.  At one point, I swear Buffalo had thirty-five guys, a couple of Buicks, and a llama up close to the line of scrimmage. No one could run consistently  - or block consistently - against that kind of front.  So until someone steps up at WR, this offense is going to face more of the same.  Now, I will say that MoMass has been playing pretty well, but he’s not a #1 receiver, and he never will be, so asking him to perform the duties of a #1 is unfair.  MoMass has a ton of talent, but he’s an Alvin Harper who’s in search of his Michael Irvin.  He, along with the rest of the WR’s need a veteran out there to learn from - as the young Linebackers are learning from DQ.  These kids have skills, they have raw talent, but no one from whom to learn the position.  Two weeks ago I postulated that it might be time for the Browns to call Plaxico Burress, and that feeling only gets stronger with each passing week.  Coming into the season, the best case scenario was that this young group would realize their potential all on their own; unfortunately, they’ve gone the complete opposite direction into the worst case scenario, and without Plax or someone else with similar seasoning, it’s not going to get much better.  Plax, Ocho, or T.O.; any one of the three could show these kids a step or two, a trick or two, a technique or two, that could turn on the light bulb over their heads.  Is that a good tradeoff for 3/4 of a season of potential locker room chaos?  To answer that question, I ask you this one: how much worse can it get?  Really, with the losing and the new ownership and the upcoming “Colt/trade deadline” noise, how much worse could any of those three WR’s make it?  I think it’s worth the risk.  You’ll notice I haven’t mentioned Greg Little this entire time, and the reason is simple: he has the skill, he gets open, he simply can’t catch the ball.  Jerry Rice had drop issues early in his career as well, so Little can still turnit around, but time is running out - he needs to either prove he can catch the ball, or it’s not worth discussing.  As with the defensive backfield, Wide Receiver MUST be a point of emphasis this coming offseason.

On to Brandon Weeden.  As I’ve said previously, I was not a fan of this pick.  I wanted the front office to use this years’ draft to bolster the other positions and give Colt another year; that way if things didn’t improve, they could take a shot at Matt Barkley next year, and bring him into a more fully loaded roster, like what Big Ben had as a rookie.  I was hopping mad when the Weeden pick was announced, which I should point out is a rare occurrence, mostly because I don’t like hopping.  Up and down, up and down ... what’s the point?  After a bunch of hopping, I’m still mad, plus usually I’m kind of tired, and occasionally gassy.  (I also rarely get my dander up, because I’m not sure what dander is.  Is it that little thing that hangs down in the back of your throat?  Write me at funnyman1515@hotmail.com if you know)  Anyway, I didn’t like the pick.  That being said, Weeds has been pretty much as advertised.  Strong arm, good vision, but definitely a rookie.  While he’s rocketed a few passes into tight spaces on the button, he’s also missed a few wide open receivers that have appeared.  Again, until someone out there gets some consistent separation (HEY FRONT OFFICE! THAT’S SOMETHING THEY COULD LEARN FROM A VETERAN LIKE ... OH, I DONT KNOW ... PLAXICO BURRESS!!!) he’s likely not to show marked improvement. 

(On a side note, if the losing continues, the Browns may be in position for Matt Barkley next year anyway.  At that point, they could stick with Weeds and trade the #1 pick for a slew of other picks, or take Barkley and start over with another rookie QB.  Tough, tough call; some are saying Barkley is even more NFL ready than Andrew Luck, so how do you pass on a talent like that?  On the other hand, they could get an almost Herschel Walker level haul of picks for Barkley, so how do you pass on THAT?  In any case, it will make for an interesting offseason if things don’t turn around in the next thirteen games.)

Admit it, even with all of those negatives about the offense, they’ve showed enough flashes that you at least believe there’s a chance they can move the ball.  Unlike the past few years when you knew it would take a miracle for the cha-cha offense (1-2-3-kick) to generate a touchdown drive, this team actually has the skills to score some points.  They finally look like a football team again.  Not a great team, not yet, but definitely a team.  One step at a time, folks.

Record: 8-8.  OK, so perhaps I was bit overzealous, but admit it - when they had Philadelphia on the ropes, when I was the ONLY person on the planet who picked them to win that week, you were thinking I was a genius, weren’t you?  You were planning to invest your 401k in my picks from then on, weren’t you?  You were planning to send me money and gather virgins and Frankincense to present as gifts at my door, weren’t you?  No?  OK, well it was still almost a genius pick.  If Little holds onto that pass in the second quarter against Philly, they win that game.  If Haden plays week 2, they win against Cincy.  Then again, if if’s and but’s were candy and nuts, a frog wouldn’t bump his butt when he tried to fly, or something like that.  The point is, that while the numbers don’t reflect the improvement in this team, I stand by my evaluation of the improvement itself.  This team is better than anyone thought at the outset, they’re actually quite close to being good.  They simply have a thin defensive backfield that’s being exposed, and a glaring hole at WR that’s magnifying the inexperience at QB and RB, dragging down the offense, and putting way too much pressure on the defense.

As for the rest of my preseason predictions, I said the Ravens would win the division but their defense would backslide due to age and the up-tempo Flacco offense.  Right on that one so far.  My division winners are looking OK with the exception of New Orleans - I had typed in Atlanta (and Chicago, for that matter) and then backed off.  Again, if if’s and but’s were candy and nuts, she’d be your uncle. 

Basically, except for the ones that I got wrong, I’m a genius.  All that’s left is to sit and wait for ESPN to call with an offer.  I’m here.  Go ahead, Bristol.  Hello?

Despite being 0-2, the future of the Cleveland Browns appears to be bright. They displayed a “real” offensive performance against the Bengals and quarterback Brandon Weeden showed what he is capable of going 26/37 for 322 yards and tossing 2 TD passes and 0 interceptions. But the real bright spot for me was the 3rd overall pick from Alabama running back Trent Richardson.

During his NFL debut against the Eagles Richardson was lack luster putting up under 40 yards rushing. After that game he recognized that the game at this level is very different then of the NCAA. So he watched game film (realizing he was running too high in his stance), practiced hard, and after another week removed from his minor surgery on his knee Trent (T-Rex) Richardson displayed he can not only play at the NFL level, but he could be a top-tier running back. Richardson’s numbers were very good against the Bengals rushing for 109 yards on 19 carries and a touchdown.

Against the Eagles Richardson did (despite poor numbers) did display his power completely demolishing Eagles safety Curt Coleman announcing to the NFL that he is not afraid of “laying the wood” running over Coleman and popping his helmet off like a PEZ dispenser. In fact, he hit Coleman so hard that his helmet traveled an additional 10 yards down the field. Take a look.


And against the Bengals he displayed some speed going 32 yards for his first career touchdown essentially outrunning everyone. This clip is Richardson’s touchdown run.



But my absolutely favorite highlight of the past two weeks from Richardson was a 24 yard TD reception from Brandon Weeden. In this play Richardson shows he has the vision, agility, and balance to make things happen. Pay attention to this clip. On this play Richardson reminded me a little of the "Barry Sanders" type of style.



For those of you who criticized Tom Heckert for making the moves he did to move up one slot to get Richardson, take a look at these highlights and you can already tell that Richardson will be a special player in the NFL.

Writers note: Only two teams have made it to the playoffs after starting 0-2, however this team appears to be pulling it together and I expect their first win this Sunday against the Bills.

What do you think?

Despite being 0-2, the future of the Cleveland Browns appears to be bright. They displayed a “real” offensive performance against the Bengals and quarterback Brandon Weeden showed what he is capable of going 26/37 for 322 yards and tossing 2 TD passes and 0 interceptions. But the real bright spot for me was the 3rd overall pick from Alabama running back Trent Richardson.

During his NFL debut against the Eagles Richardson was lack luster putting up under 40 yards rushing. After that game he recognized that the game at this level is very different then of the NCAA. So he watched game film (realizing he was running too high in his stance), practiced hard, and after another week removed from his minor surgery on his knee Trent (T-Rex) Richardson displayed he can not only play at the NFL level, but he could be a top-tier running back. Richardson’s numbers were very good against the Bengals rushing for 109 yards on 19 carries and a touchdown.

Against the Eagles Richardson did (despite poor numbers) did display his power completely demolishing Eagles safety Curt Coleman announcing to the NFL that he is not afraid of “laying the wood” running over Coleman and popping his helmet off like a PEZ dispenser. In fact, he hit Coleman so hard that his helmet traveled an additional 10 yards down the field. Take a look.


And against the Bengals he displayed some speed going 32 yards for his first career touchdown essentially outrunning everyone. This clip is Richardson’s touchdown run.



But my absolutely favorite highlight of the past two weeks from Richardson was a 24 yard TD reception from Brandon Weeden. In this play Richardson shows he has the vision, agility, and balance to make things happen. Pay attention to this clip. On this play Richardson reminded me a little of the "Barry Sanders" type of style.



For those of you who criticized Tom Heckert for making the moves he did to move up one slot to get Richardson, take a look at these highlights and you can already tell that Richardson will be a special player in the NFL.

Writers note: Only two teams have made it to the playoffs after starting 0-2, however this team appears to be pulling it together and I expect their first win this Sunday against the Bills.

What do you think?

If I were to tell you that the Cleveland Browns rookie QB (Brandon Weeden) threw for 300+ and 2 TD’s. Then in that same game, your featured running back (Trent Richardson) had 100+ yards and 1 touchdown. And as an added bonus, the Browns defense held your opposition to under 100 yards rushing you would probably think that the Cleveland Browns would win right?

 Unfortunately the answer is no as the Browns suffered a tough loss to the Cincinnati Bengals 27-34 on Sunday. Both teams played well against each other blow for blow. The difference maker in the game was on special teams where the Bengals’ Adam Jones took a punt return 81 yards for a touchdown. In addition the loss of shutdown corner Joe Haden on the field was painfully obvious as he has begun to serve his four game suspensions for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy.

 In conjunction with Sheldon Brown being ruled out for the game gave the Bengals (especially A.J. Green) plenty of space to throw the ball. But despite this being a heartbreaker to a league rival, I was able to walk away from this game with a positive feeling. Both QB Brandon Weeden and Trent Richardson played outstanding. Those fans “clambering for Colt” got to see today why the Browns are so high on Weeden. They also got to see what kind of a weapon we really have at our disposal with Richardson.

 And despite the poor passing defense and miscue on special teams, the Browns really beat themselves with 100+ yards in penalties. And giving your opponents additional opportunities will kill you every time. Next up the Browns is the 1-1 Buffalo Bills who pounded the Chiefs 35-17. Hopefully CB Sheldon Brown will be back and ready to go. But you can bet that penalties will be a focus in next week’s practices.

After a heart-breaking loss to the Philadelphia Eagles, the Cleveland Browns must turn their attention to their next game against the Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday. So even though the Eagles game could have gone either way, there is much to be improved on. Let’s take a look at some of the things that the Browns have worked on this week in anticipation for improvement against the Bengals.

Offense:

Really this is all that needs to be said. The defense had its issues which we will cover but the Browns offense was flat out horrible.

Brandon Weeden MUST take care of the football. Throwing four interceptions in the game is not something you want to be known for, especially in Cleveland where we have run more QB’s out of town than Wal-Mart has killed local businesses. There have already been “Op-Eds” and cries for Weeden to be replaced by backup QB Colt McCoy. Not all of the interceptions should fall at the feet of Weeden but the majority do.

The offensive line needs improvement. Pocket protection was ok for the Browns keeping Weeden upright for the most part, but they struggled in the run game. However, it was exciting to see Trent Richardson pop the helmet off of a defenders head. Richardson’s performance wasn’t outstanding, but as he gets more carries and hits he will improve.

So how did the offense rank in week 1?

Offensive Rankings:

Points/Game             16.0 (25th)

Total Yards/Game   210.0 (32nd)

Rushing Yards/Game       99.0 (16th)

Passing Yards/Game        111.0 (32nd)



Defense:

The defense (despite what the stats say) played extremely well essentially playing the Eagles' tough forcing 5 turnovers including a “pick-six”. Despite that however the defensive run stopping once again allowed 100+ yards. But even with the defense struggling to stop the run the defense did everything they could to keep the offense in the game, they fell just short of winning with an L.J. Fort interception in the endzone, but he just could not hang on to it.

How did the Defense rank?

Defensive rankings:

Points/Game             17.0 (9th)

Total Yards              456.0 (31ST)

Rush Yards/Game   150.0 (27th)

Pass Yards/Game    306.0 (27th)

It is just one game. But despite seeing some very poor play by the Browns, I do see light at the end of the tunnel. At least there is nowhere to go but up.

Next up is the winless Bengals who were embarrassed by the Ravens last week 13-44. Look for the Bengals to try and bounce back in the Battle of Ohio.

A Fans reaction to Mike Holmgren possibly leaving Cleveland

The news is not a surprise, although in my opinion is not welcome news.  "The Trey" (Jimmy Haslem III) has the right to create the management team and anything else related to the Browns once he puts his money up, which clearly he will do in October.  I am hoping with all my heart he learns to LOVE OUR BROWNS as much as we all do...time will tell!

I thought Mike Holmgren brought a level of maturity and stability that we were sorely lacking.  That is not to say, I think that mistakes were not made but honestly everybody makes mistakes.  It is more important how you recover and what lessons were learned as a result of the mistakes.  I wish Mike all the best and thank him for his efforts.

I need to learn more about Joe Banner.  The web stuff I've seen from the Philly area is; That he has no personality and in general, is a grump.  I hope that initial info is wrong.

What the Browns need most of all, and what I saw attributed to "The Trey" is that the Browns need consistency...they need to stop changing Head Coaches and the Front Office personnel every two to three years.  All the successful teams have stability in the Coaching position and in the Front Office.  I say, you only get one chance to make a first impression and by god I hope "The Trey" clearly states his vision for OUR BROWNS and gets everybody on the same page and then we move forward as a team and a community focused on winning and supporting OUR BROWNS!!  If "The TREY" wants a clean sweep... then lets have the sweep quickly and let's move on with everyone on the same page!!!

The following are my thoughts on week one of the Cleveland Browns season.  For my thoughts on Gluten Free cooking or the effects of lingering separatism on the industrial revolution, go to my blog at
www.guywhoblogsaboutweirdrandomstuffthatnooneisinterestedin.net.  Or just approach me on the street and ask me; for a free coffee I’ll discuss just about anything.  For my column on this particular website, however, I thought it best to remain on the topic of Cleveland Browns football, such as it is.

-Quarterback: Everyone ... Calm ... Down.  It was one game.  Yes, Weeds looked bad.  OK, abysmal.  OK, it was more difficult to watch than a Cloris Leachman-Ed Asner sex scene.  However, it was only one game, it was against what everyone say is a top flight defense, and he received no running game support or WR help whatsoever.  Look, if Little catches that ball in the second quarter instead of turning it into an INT, the Browns get at least three more points out of it, and we may be sitting here talking about how “Weeden struggled but made just enough plays to help pull off the upset.”  That’s the difference between winning and losing in the NFL - one play here or there.  Yes, he looked confused.  Yes, he missed a few wide open receives and missed them badly.  Yes, he failed to deliver the Frankenberries or even the Shredded Wheat, but it was only one game.  If there’s no improvement by halftime or early 3rd quarter next week in Cincy, I’d expect to see Colt; especially if the defense keeps us in the game again and there’s an opportunity to steal one.  Honestly, I never wanted them to draft a QB this year; I wanted them to address all of the other roster holes and give Colt another shot with an actual supporting cast, then go after Barkley next year if things didn’t improve.  I also think it would be Hollywood-style irony if Weeden doesn’t improve at all, and Colt comes in and goes lights-out with the new RB & WR corps.  However, if there is some improvement - and let’s face it, by default there almost has to be - I’d be stunned if Weeds doesn’t get every opportunity, and rightly so.

-Running Back: Have to give this one an incomplete.  TRich was not only coming off knee surgery, a month off, and playing in his first NFL game, but the Eagles (smartly) stacked the box.  Had Weeds been able to make two or three more plays in the passing game, there might have been a crack or two for Richardson to run through.  Can’t really grade him on this one, he’ll need at least one, probably two more weeks to get up to full running speed.  If he never does anything else, that helmet removal hit he put on Kurt Coleman will run on highlight reels for a decade.  If you can’t beat em, beat ‘em up. (Official slogan of the Ampipe High School football team)(The fact that I know that reference means I am really, extra, super middle aged)

-Wide Receivers: Massoquoi played well, you have to admit.  He got open - WIDE open - a few times, and caught the balls that came his way.  Plus, he made it through an entire game without a blow to the head making him talk all Biden-goofy, which is always a plus.  Other than that, there’s not much good to report in this area.  Little dropped that ball at the goal line, Gordon looked like he just woke up from a nap, and although Benajmin had a nice run on the reverse, on both of the INT’s where he was targeted, he looked like he was shocked that there was some guy in a green uniform trying to steal HIS passes.  A thought: If there’s no improvement in week two, it might be time for the Browns to at least consider giving Plaxico a call.  Yes, he’s a headache, but he can catch the damn ball, and maybe he can show these young guys a few things about how to fight for a reception when defenders are close by.  Just a thought.  These guys have a TON of potential as a group, I’m not yet ready to give up on them.  Of course, I’m still convinced that Big Band music is going going to make a huge comeback, so take my musings as you will.

Defense:  I’m still waiting for a single NFL “expert” to say that maybe - just MAYBE - some of the Eagles offensive problems were caused by the Browns D. We found ourselves a few LB’s, I thought that group was outstanding.  Fort is certainly kicking himself for the dropped INT in the end zone, but the Browns wouldn’t have been in that game if it wasn’t for him and his cohorts. (BTW, had he held on, I would have looked like a Sooooooper Genius, as I think I’m the only person on the planet who picked the Browns to win that game outright)  The defensive line actually got QB pressure without blitzing, for the first time since Michael Dean Perry - think how solid they’re going to be when Phil Taylor returns.  Billy Winn is the steal of this draft.  Without Haden, it’s going to be tough on the secondary for four games, there’s no denying it.  The guy shuts down an entire half of the field.  The defense is obviously by far the strength of the team, and they’re going to have to play like it all year.

Those are my thoughts, at least the ones that don’t involve Jennifer Aniston and a rainstorm.  I’m still not buying all of the hype about how horrific this team is; I think they’re very, very close.  As I said, one or two more plays on offense and everyone is talking about how “scrappy” this team is, and how “If Weeden can improve on a dismal performance, they could surprise some people.”  One or two plays per game, that’s the difference - for any and every team - between the playoffs and 3-13.

SB*Nation Cleveland is reporting that via Jason La Canfora of CBS Sports that Joe Banner will be taking over duties as the Browns top executive, once Jim Haslam takes control of the Browns next month.

"The Cleveland Browns will name Joe Banner the team's top executive when Jim Haslam officially takes over as owner next month, according to Jason La Canfora of CBS Sports. The league still has to approve of Haslam's purchase of the team at meetings next month."

The addition of Joe Banner, former Team President of the Philadelphia Eagles would suggest the departure of Browns current Team President Mike Holmgren. So the question is--would the Browns benefit by replacing Holmgren?

So it's Saturday afternoon and I happen to see a commercial for the Cleveland Browns. So as I'm getting excited for the season opener I proceed to hit up Stub Hub and snag some tickets to the game. It was the 3rd year in a row I've been to the home opener for the Browns. It's becoming a tradition for my brother and me. Thinking on the way there that there is no way it can get any worse than last year's season opener was our first mistake. So I'll just jump right into it.

 Brandon Weeden, the one I once called BW3 played the worst game as a quarterback I've seen in my young relationship with the Browns. The entire game we just kept putting it behind us how bad he was actually playing. After the 3rd interception the head scratching began. Reminising over the past hour of the game and now all the bad throws and decision making it was starting to sink in. Then we asked ourselves, do you honestly bring in Coly McCoy?

Talk about just an uncomfortable feeling as a Browns Fan. You knew that Colt would probably win you the game because of how bad Weeden was playing, but do you bring up all that drama again? In my opinion, Colt comes in that game, the Browns are 1-0. Now, is Colt McCoy the long term answer for the Browns? No, I do not believe so. But it should be about one thing and one thing only, winning football games. Especially here in Cleveland. But I also understand the point of leaving him in as well.
But don't lie to yourselves, Browns fans, you secretly wanted to see Colt McCoy in the football game. Not gonna get heavy into Richardson. Hadn't played in a month and is coming off surgery. And I don't care if Jim Brown was in the backfield, running straight into a wall is tough for anybody. Now, on to another point.

All the fans feeding me about how the defense played excellent? They gave up 456 yds of offense to a team in which the quarterback threw 4 interceptions. Listen, is the defense is the reason we stayed in the football game? Yes. Did they make big play after big play after big play? Yes. But stats don't lie, and that's a lot of yards to give up. Need I mention the gaping holes Shady McCoy had to run through. I think if they give that guy the ball 56 times instead of Vick, they probably would have rolled right over us. I'm one of the most optimistic Browns fans I know, but yesterday was absolutely brutal. And besides the awesome plays the defense made, I couldn't even find anything to be happy about because of how the game unfolded.

 I thought the atmosphere at that game was one of the best atmospheres I've been to, if not the best, at Browns Stadium. But the walk back to the car after the game shockingly felt worse than last year, and had my brother and I saying "Did that really happen?"

After the Cleveland Browns loss to the Philadelphia Eagles, a game which the Eagles tried desperately to hand victory to the Browns, should Colt McCoy start game number two? After the dismal performance of quarterback Brandon Weeden, a performance that included four interceptions, two fumbles along with a passer rating of 5.1, many fans and analysts alike are suggesting that Weeden is simply "not ready". This of course coming on the heels of Browns coach Pat Shurmurs statement that Weeden was "very ready".

Yes, he is a rookie and one can expect troubles for the young man trying to adjust to the NFL. This does not excuse the numerous throws above, behind and at times thrown where there were no receivers--just defenders. Weeden looked "rattled" and oftens times seem to throw passes out of desperation, locked on receivers and made numerous poor decisions. Along with throwing for 118 yards with a miserable 30 percent completions he showed his lack of mobility and at times seem to hurry his throws in anticipation of being hit.

Highly touted for his accuracy this did not appear as he missed numerous receivers. Simply put, Weeden is a work in progress and was rushed into the limelight to quick. With the Browns defense keeping us "in the game" ball control and the need to protect the ball was paramount--a game manager if you will--this was one of the knocks on McCoy who has shown the ability to protect the ball.

Whether one is a fan of Weeden or a supporter of McCoy would it not benefit Weeden to sit and learn for a few games, catch up to the speed of the NFL so that when he gets his shot--he is not overwhelmed? Weeden is a project, and should be treated as such........Fire Away!

As most of my loyal fan base knows and has been discussing over coffee and marmalade for weeks, it has been quite some time since I’ve done a reader mailbag column.  In fact, my official guy-who-does-these-kinds-of-things (Code Name: Larry) tells me that I haven’t done a reader mailbag columns since “ever,” which is at least before the eclipse, possibly even prior the Hell’s Kitchen swimsuit competition. (Do they do that? I don’t watch that show.)  Anyway, it’s apparently been awhile, and this is causing grave consternation amongst my faithful readers, as proven by the following transcript of an actual conversation between two of my imaginary readers from the Washington D.C. area:

Reader #1:  “Wow, Stephen has’t done a reader mailbag column in at least a fortnight.”

Reader #2: “Are you consternated about it?”

Reader #1: “Gravely.”

Far be it from me to be the cause of any variety of consternation, so with the NFL season rapidly approaching, let’s do a combination reader mailbag/season prediction column.  Oh, and I’ve recently taken to calling myself “King Thunder,” mostly because it’s what my wife calls me.  So all future reader mail must be addressed as such, or no Frankenberries for you.


Dear King Thunder,
Is it true that you’re planning to pick the Browns over the Eagles this week?  Follow up question, are you planning to bogart the entire bag of whatever you’re smoking?
Eddie from Elyria

Dear Eddie From Elyria,
I am indeed, predicated on two things:  One, that TRich plays.  Two, that Haden plays.  If either of those two things don’t occur, I will change my pick.  As of now, however, this just feels like a game where Philly is overlooking the Browns ... as everyone says they should ... and I mean EVERYONE.  That’s actually a large factor as to why I’m picking Cleveland - if history has taught us anything it’s that A) Anyone can be assassinated (thanks Michael Corleone) and B) If all the sportswriters in the world agree on something and scoff with incredibly unwarranted sportswriter superiority at anyone who disagrees, it almost always turns out to be wrong.  Plus, a power running game makes a four win team at least an eight win team.  With TRich, that’s what the Browns have ... potentially.  As it relates to this particular game, as many great names as the Eagles have on defense, they were surprisingly soft against the run last year, surrendering 4.4 yds/rush.  Oh, and my bag of “stuff” is for medical purposes only.  All this reading of mail gives me serious glaucoma. (For all of my weekly NFL picks, go to my Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/stephenthomascomic)

Dear King Thunder,
Obviously the Browns are going to go 16-0, but what do you think of the rest of the division?  Are there any players on those other three teams that maybe the Browns could pick up for their practice squad or anything?
Tom from Twinsburg

Dear Tom from Twinsburg,
First, please give me back my bag of medically approved stuff. I think the Browns will be much improved, but let’s not get crazy.  Thirteen wins, maybe fourteen; anything more than that sounds like a nutty skit from SuperHost.  Second, I think there is potential for a step back for at least one of the other teams in the division, and that’s the Ravens.  I understand what they’re doing with the Flacco hurry-up offense, and I think it will work.  However, with the age on that defense, they’re taking a huge gamble.  Understand, they’re not planning to run a no-huddle, but an actual hurry-up, a la the Jim Kelly Buffalo Bills.  Those Buffalo defenses wore down at the end of seasons due to all of the extra time on the field, and they were relatively young at their core.  This Baltimore defense is long in the tooth, to put it mildly.  I think they’ll hold up fine the first half of the season and blast out of the gate at 4-0 or 6-1 or something similar, and then wear down in the stretch run.  Fortunately for them, I don’t believe any of the other three AFC North teams have enough in the tank to catch them, so they’ll reign for one more year.

Dear King Thunder,
How can the season be “rapidly approaching?”  Doesn’t the passage of time stay at a constant, regardless of impending events?
Aaron from Akron

Dear Aaron from Akron,
You are most likely correct, although I’ve seen several episodes of Star Trek: TNG that raise the possibility of time not being as linear as modern physicists believe.  Aren’t you way too smart to be reading my column?

Dear King Thunder,
You didn’t really answer all of Tom from Twinsburg’s question, you just cherry picked one team and then dodged the rest.  What are you, a politician or something?
Dave from Dayton

Dear Dave from Dayton,
It’s my prerogative as a professional humor writing type person (PHWTP).  What are you, a lawyer or something?

Dear King Thunder,
Yes, actually I am.  Now will you answer the question and explain your whereabouts on the night of the OJ murders, please?
Dave from Dayton

Dear Dave from Dayton,
No Hablo Ingles. (Sets off Ninja smoke bomb, escapes through secret floor hatch.)

Dear King Thunder,
So why don’t you just tell us what you think about the 2012 Browns?  This is supposed to be a football column, you know.
Mike from Marietta

Dear Mike from Marietta,
First off, that shows what you know about my column; none of my regular readers think I know the first thing about football.  Of course, none of my regular readers own more than two pair of pants, and they rarely wear either one except to a formal event such as an arraignment, but that’s for another discussion.  Second, OK, here’s my 2012 Browns thoughts, in all seriousness.  Or mostly seriousness.  Or a 70/30 Seriousness/Polyester blend.  I really, truly, honestly believe they’re going to be much, much better than anyone is predicting.  Last year, they hung around in almost every game, and could have won at least five more, and that was with virtually no offense.  Now, they have (potentially, all based on that knee) a power running game, and some skill and speed at the WR position, raw though it may be.  With an improved defensive line (at least on paper) especially after Phil Taylor comes back, the defense should be even better than it was a year ago.  Finally, as much as I wanted them to stick with Colt for another year and then go after Barkley next year if things didn’t improve, I’ve liked the little we’ve seen from Weeden.  Will they make the playoffs?  Even I’m not nutty enough to say that.  However, I think 6-8 wins isn’t beyond reasonable to expect.  They’re going to surprise some people.  So I’m going with 8-8.  That’s my prediction.  Now get off my back.

Dear King Thunder,
What are you going to say when people reply to this column and call you an idiot and a moron, with poorly spelled curse words, non-existent punctuation, and horrific grammar?
Frank from Columbus

Dear Frank from Columbus,
Don’t you know that all reader mailbag questions MUST come from people who have alliteration in their first name and their hometown?  I’m not answering your question until you rectify this situation.  Jerk.

Dear King Thunder,
So what are your division, and Super Bowl picks?  Come on, I can’t wait any longer - I’ve secretly liquidated my company’s entire 401k fund, and want to go bet it all in Las Vegas based on your psychic abilities.
Carl from Cleveland

Dear Carl from Cleveland,
First, thank you for following the name and hometown rules.  If you happen to see Frank from Columbus, kick him repeatedly in the duodenum for me, OK? (What? duodenum is a real thing.)  Second, you were wise to make such a bold financial transaction.  Sure, people like your bosses and the SEC will be mad at first, but when you put all of the money back plus profit at the end of the season, they’re sure to throw you a parade.

  Third, here we go:  AFC East: New England.  AFC North: Baltimore. AFC South: Houston. AFC West: Denver.  NFC East: Dallas. NFC North: Green Bay. NFC South: New Orleans. NFC West: San Francisco.  Super Bowl: Green Bay over New England. 

In a surprising turn of events a collective bargaining agreement panel has overturned the four suspended (former Saints players) in their roles in the Saints “Bounty Gate” on Friday according to NFL spokesman Greg Allello. So what does this mean for the Cleveland Browns? It means that linebacker Scott Fujita will be on the field and ready to go after no longer having to face his previously imposed three game suspension this Sunday.

This of course is good news for the Browns who lost their other veteran outside linebacker Chris Gocong to a season ending injury earlier in training camp. Jonathan Vilma, free agent Anthony Hargrove, and Will Smith who were all facing multi-game suspensions longer than Fujita also will be available to play for their perspective teams.