A fish out of water: a Cleveland Browns fan in Los Angeles
The first thing people look at when they enter my office at work is a prominently displayed foam Cleveland Browns Dawg Bone. It is a reminder of an impulse buy I made during a Thursday night game at Cleveland Browns Stadium against Denver when I still held delusions of glory under the helm of the Subway and MetRx fueled right arm of Brady Quinn. This illicits a response of, “So, you really hate LeBron James, right?” Cleveland is forever associated with LBJ jerseys burned in effigy thanks to the never-ending loop ESPN showed for a year straight. No matter how much we heal or get excited about the current teams (love you, Kyrie) those images will be the first things outsiders think of, even when looking at football memorabilia. After that, the next question inevitably is, “The Browns, huh? That Sucks. Why?”
You see, Angelinos don’t have the background Cleveland fans do. There are three reasons for this: it is always sunny and 75 degrees, at any given time there are 15,000 amazing things to do, and about 80% of the population is from somewhere else (I made up all those numbers, but you get the gist). This leads to a very fickle fan base. That’s why there was a shift from the Lakers to Lob City and back to the Lakers all in the past year. It is also why LA can’t hold on to an NFL team in the second largest media market in the country. If you are going to survive in LA, you better win.
If there is one thing my Dad taught me, it was to be loyal to your teams and stick by them through thick and thin (something I have yet to master with a girlfriend). When I was eight years old I was very giddy about going to see the Corey Snyder-led Tribe take on the Red Sox. At the grocery the day before the game, I begged my Dad to buy me a pack of Topps baseball cards. I opened a pack and the coolest card was of Mike Greenwell (remember that dude?) of Boston. Being an impetuous youngster, I told my Dad that Mike Greenwell was now my favorite player and I was going to root for the Red Sox tomorrow. To which he very bluntly and quickly replied without a hint of a smile, “Not if you are going with me.” I knew right there and then that this fandom stuff is serious. From that point on, I kept loyalty to my Cleveland teams, cool baseball cards be damned.
This is where my LA brethren and I differ. They didn’t have a father that would rather see them show up on America’s Most Wanted than root of those commie Red Sox or Bengals or Bulls (fine, I loved MJ, but who didn’t?). They will never understand why I buy the NFL Sunday Ticket, NBA League Pass, and MLB Extra Innings to watch mediocre/awful teams across the country when I live less than a half a mile from the beach. Everyone else can have their Peyton Mannings; I’ll keep my Couchs, Fryes, and Holcombs. You can cheer on Calvin Johnson’s latest amazing catch; I’ll still hold near and dear to my heart the exploits of Eric Metcalf. These teams and players are mine. The heartbreak and disappoint I suffer will be worn as a badge of honor. They are the only things I have held a truly invested interest in for over two decades (and maybe the Thundercats).
Oh, and finally, yes Pittsburg Steeler fans are just as annoying on the other side of the country.
Timothy L. Vansant--Analyst C.B.R.Tim is a former Air Force Captain from Columbus, OH and currently resides in a Los Angeles, CA. When not slaving away at his day job as a Proposals Coordinator, he can be seen asking a local bar’s wait staff to change the television to a Cleveland game, much to the chagrin of other patrons. You can reach him at vansantaf@gmail.com.
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